My secret
by RoosLovesJorja
Summary: Sara has a secret to hide and she slowly reveals it. The story's from her POV.


I woke up. The doorbell. Great. I looked like a ghost, felt like a ghost and I had been drinking like a ghost the night before. I never really drink that much, actually. It's just that I felt like shit that day. There had been this case that really bothered me. A girl, six years old, had been raped, probably by her father. The case really affected me. Greg saw it. He asked me if I was allright, because I looked so pale. I told him I was allright because I didn't want him to know my secret. It was my secret, and it was going to stay my secret.

I opened the door and there he was. Greg. He must have followed me to the bar. He must have seen me drinking. I used to drink a lot, ten years ago, or something like that. I was still in college. You will all find out why I drank that much. You will find it out, soon. Just let me tell my story. And it's not short, I warn you.

I greeted him, like nothing was wrong. He greeted back. He smiled at me. I smiled back. I told him to sit down on the couch and I asked what brought him to my house. As far as you can call it a house, by the way. It's messy all over the place. Clothes were on the floor, and I hadn't cleaned the house in years. Guess that's me.

He smiled again. Gosh, what was wrong with the guy? He just kept on smiling. Smile, smile, smile, and smile. Smile. Maybe he thought he needed to smile. He asked me if I was all right. Of course I wasn't! I had a pounding headache, my feet hurt and my blood pressure was too high. Probably because of the alcohol. I looked him in the eyes and I sighed.

I told him I was all right. For the second time in twenty-four hours. He probably didn't believe me, because he asked if I was sure. No, I wasn't sure. I looked him in the eyes again and I tried to look serious. Yes, Greg, I-am-okay.

He nodded. He told me I was late for work. He told me Grissom asked him to pick me up. Shit. That stupid, damn annoying headache. I sighed. Why did things always have to go this way? I always got in trouble. I couldn't tell him I was sick, because I just told him I was all right. That would be suspicious, don't you think? I decided just to go to work and I would see what happened. If I became too sick, I'd leave, I promised myself. I told him to watch some TV while I got dressed.

I got into my bedroom and I sat down on the bed. I put my face in my hands and I sighed again. I'm such a mess. I looked at my (almost empty) wardrobe. I saw the t-shirt hanging. _The_ t-shirt. I looked at the shirt next to it and I decided to wear it that day. I got up from the bed and while walking to the wardrobe, I got some pants off the floor. I put the shirt and the pants on and walked into the living room like nothing was wrong.

I smiled. Fake smile, obviously. I was good at faking those. Faking smiles wasn't something I loved to do, but it was necessary, sometimes. Sometimes a person just needed to pretend things were right, when they weren't. He asked me who would drive. For the first time in my life, I told someone else to drive. I was always the one who wanted to drive the car. I love driving cars. It's one of my hobbies, as far as I have those. I'm a no-lifer.

While driving to the lab, he started telling me all kinds of stories. Got to hate traffic jams, especially when he's telling you things about his grandmother. I learned a lot during that ride. But it was useless stuff. I mean, who wants to know about his grandmother wearing false teeth? And yes, I laughed my arse off hearing the story about his friend in high school. Not. I wanted him to shut up. But I couldn't just say that, could I? That would be rude. Well, I was half-asleep, that isn't that sympathetic either. So I just faked a smile, again. Heh, funny.

I was actually happy, seeing the lab. The lab saved me of hearing the story about the same friend saving a duck, or something. I could hug the lab. I didn't want to work on that case, though. I cried inside thinking of it. But I went inside and went straight into the DNA-lab. I wanted to know if the father raped the kid. What? A new lab tech. Fine. They just kept coming and going. I said hi to the girl and I asked her if the results were back already. The stupid little newbie bitch didn't have them. Great. I wished her good luck at the lab and I went straight into the coffee room.

And what I didn't want to happen, happened. I met Grissom. He had waited for me, obviously. He was a great boss, but sometimes I couldn't stand him. I think this was one of those moments. He looked at me, angrily, but at the same time kind of surprised. He probably didn't expect me ever to come late. Well, then he was wrong. I was late.

I smiled at him, it was a fake smile, once again. He asked me why I was late. Despite the fact I had already expected him to ask it, I didn't know how to answer. Maybe I could tell him my alarm didn't work. But that was such an old-school excuse. I told him I didn't know why I was late. I was just late. He told me he forgave me. Thanks for that, Grissom.

I needed some coffee. So, yes, it was obvious I took some coffee. I love coffee. It's hot, and it takes all your trouble away. For a moment, though. But the feeling of having no problems at all is great. I just love it. I could drink coffee anytime. Okay, getting a bit off-topic now. So, I went back on the case. After processing the kid's clothes, I started processing her shoes. I was hoping to find some fingerprints on the shoes, but they were negative for fingerprints. Great. My day was hell.

There was nothing I could do. The whole team was on the case. Grissom was studying the bugs we found at the scene (maybe those could lead us to the rapist, the bugs probably didn't live in Nevada), Nick was with the girl, Warrick was interrogating the father, Catherine was investigating the scene, and Greg probably danced around on Marilyn Manson-music. I decided to get on the internet. Maybe there was some fun stuff, though nothing really could cheer me up.

I opened the browser and viewed the homepage. CBS News. And yes, another thing that reminded me of the case. I wanted to get away of it. I tried to find some funny movies on YouTube that reminded me of the few happy things in my childhood. I always watched Sesame Street. I loved Ernie. He always made me giggle.

After looking for a couple of minutes, I finally found a Sesame Street scene. It was so cute. I couldn't actually remember other things I used to watch, when I was a child. This was the only memory. It's funny, the things that you remember and the things that you don't. I heard some footsteps behind me. I quickly closed the internet.

It was Greg. I hoped he had the DNA-results. He smiled at me and he said hi.

To Be Continued


End file.
